It's 8:30pm and everyone has gone home. Mark is upstairs reading "pretend stories" to Audrey and Noah is asleep. Feels down right normal as I listen to the chug of the dishwasher behind me.
Christmas has been everything we hoped for. Mark is home with us and most of his family were able to join us. I cooked a bird this afternoon and we are all stuffed! The presents under the tree this year were overwhelming but we were happy to indulge our little ones and see the twinkle in their eyes.
This year as a whole has been the worst. Each year, I catch myself reflecting back on the year before and I try to remember it. Who was here, did we go back to Ontario? Did I cook a turkey or did we barbeque some Keg steaks? I am embarressed to admit that last year is a bit foggy. I can't even say for sure who was here for dinner and what my husband gave me for Christmas.
This year is different.
Different for sad reasons and different for happy ones too. I am forever going to remember the kindness of the people who surround our family each day. The wonderful things people have done for us leading up to this holiday has been incredible to say the least. Mark and I can't even believe it sometimes. It gives us the strength to look into our kids' eyes and smile for real. Not just because we have to hold it together for them, but because the kindness of others has made the unbearable just a little easier.
I never imagined I could endure these hardships. You always think to yourself "What would I ever do if..." Each day I see friends and aquaintances who ask me how I do it. How do I cope? I think the only way is that I have the love and support of all of you who read our blog. I even have the support of people who don't even know our family. Friends of friends, even strangers who have heard our story and just want to help. It is the goodness and kindness in others that makes me believe I can do this.
This Christmas will be the one I remember forever, the details will stick with me always. I know who was here for supper, I will remember what I cooked and most of all ... I will remember what my husband got me for Christmas. One more Christmas together as a family
I love you Mark.
Leslie
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Merry Christmas to you & your kids. Thank you for sharing your insight with us, for we too will remember the details and the love of this holiday. Diana & Cory & Ben & Sam & Danny
ReplyDeleteI just read your latest entry and I was deeply touched. Your courage and strength Leslie is to be admired. By the sounds of it you've had the perfect Xmas. We are always thinking of you Mark and pray you are not in too much pain. We hope you have many more happy times together. Our love to all of you. Sharon & Fred Pratt.
ReplyDeleteI am so very proud of both of you. I DO believe there is a deeper reason aswell. I also believe in MIRACLES !! I pray for you everyday! Peace, Love, Health and Happiness.
ReplyDeleteMy sister Tracee talks about you and your family all the time. It sounds like you have many friends/family that love and support you! I will pray for you that you are able to make many more precious memories together.
ReplyDeleteCheers to a happy and healthy new year!
Love you lots Leslie !!! Hope to see you soon so that I can give you a great big HUG !!!!
ReplyDeleteThis New Year will be a new start because I believe in miracle as well. Hugs and Kisses to the Allan Family xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoox
Gloria
Last night as the clock ticked past midnight and Warren was at work, I sat alone with my thoughts and reflected on the past year. While thoughts of my own family were close at heart, thoughts of your family were there as well. The strength and courage you have both shown through this last year has brought me to tears on many occasions. This New Year, I send my love to you and your wonderful children and I will be thinking of you everyday.
ReplyDeleteAll my love,
Jen
xoxo
When I think of the Allan family, and Mark in particular, one word comes to mind.... courage.
ReplyDeleteDuring this incredibly difficult time, I appreciate the time you took, Mark, to talk to me the other day. After, we finished our conversation, I wondered whether I would be as courageous as you were under similiar circumstances.
Leslie and your children must be incredibly proud of you.
I also wonder, if someone met me once, whether they would remember me a year or so later?
"Anything" our family can do to help, let us know.
Phil and Christina Linklater
( aka Christina Atsalakis)
604-536-7547
Leslie & Mark, we have followed the battle for the past months, and want to let you know that your family have constantly been in our thoughts and prayers. Your blog has put life in perspective for many, and for that, we would like to thank you. You are an amazing family. We wish you the the absolute best of everything in this new year and years to come. Your very distant cousin and family from the other coast, Kim, Peter, Jaden and Livia Nauss.
ReplyDelete