Choices

The last trip I ever took with Mark was August long weekend last year. We were celebrating his recovery and getting in a quick trip before we both had to go back to work. My parents had flown in to help us with the kids, as they had so many times that year and we decided at the last minute to go to Whistler. In all the years we had lived out west, we had never taken the time to go to one of the most beautiful places in Canada. We were both so excited to finally have some time alone together. I remember us both being pretty giddy and excited as we drove off for our first weekend away from the kids. We were the ones who felt like kids that day. I remember so many details of that weekend. It doesn't feel like it was a year ago.



We stayed at the Pan-Pacific and loved it. The rooms were luxurious, the people were friendly and we got hooked on the AVEDA bath products they supplied in the rooms. I washed my hair this morning with the same rosemary-mint shampoo I used that weekend. Both Mark and I loved the smell so I bought it for us to use at home. A small fortune for shampoo and conditioner but it's amazing how great memories can be triggered by such a simple thing.


Mark and I did the touristy things you do when you go to Whistler. Shop, eat in restaurants, drink beer in the middle of the day. The whole weekend seemed to fall together effortlessly. I had planned to go for a massage at the Pan and then the girl at our hotel gave me a local tip on a great inexpensive place to go. She saved me over 100$. Then, the girl who gave me the massage also just happened to work on the mountain and gave me two day passes for the gondola. It felt like people were being extra nice to us. Complete strangers who knew nothing about us. There were other things too. Someone told us about some "secret" parking in the village and saved us 25$ a day, and Mark got a tee time at a golf course where people book weeks in advance. I remember Mark saying that it felt too good to be true that night while we had drinks at a local cafe. Looking back now, it was the calm before the storm.



It's funny how you can remember such small details about a time or a place you have been. It's like your mind was already programmed to remember it as one of your "lasts". I never thought that would be my last trip with the love of my life. I really thought, we both thought, we were just getting started. Noah and Audrey were at an age then that we felt comfortable leaving them and I just really thought it was the beginning.


I looked back at the blog I posted that weekend and it was titled "More than Surviving". The optimism I had when I wrote that post was a dangerous one to carry. Mark's future was really uncertain even though he was in remission. The survival rate of AML is less than 50%, but we both chose to accept the odds and hope for the best. I have come to believe that the choices we make as we get thrown all these obstacles is what determines our future. Some people crumble, some people wallow and some stumble and fall but then they get up. If I had never had a reprieve from cancer and never got a weekend away with Mark, I might be one of those who doesn't want to get up. But I know in my heart that I need to. For me, our August long weekend trip represents a time of happiness and freedom that we so desperately needed. So with this great memory to look back on, I will try my hardest to do what Mark so graciously did. Choose to LiveStrong.