The Odd Day

As time goes by, I wonder what makes up a good day and what makes up a bad one. During this process I am confronted with both, and at times can feel overwhelmed with the moment. I know in my heart that it is completely natural but I can't help but wonder if anyone else in the world has felt like me. Sadly, I know the answer is yes but it doesn't soften the longing I feel for a life I once had.

It is difficult to imagine that this could have happened to my happy little family. Who knew that a persistent sore throat and a few fevers would bring me here to today. I have trouble believing all that has happened over the last 17 months. It is a story that one reads about, I never thought I would be writing about it.

When I look back at the horrible circumstances that have been dealt to me I feel differently about it at different times. Depends on the day, but there is an overall feeling of disbelief still. I hope for a time that things will feel normal again but it seems a long way off. As the days trickle by, I hope that my appreciation for the fragility of life will outweigh my disappointment in what could have been.

There is the odd day that my disbelief takes a back seat and I feel fortunate or even lucky to have made connections with a few special people. I would venture that if all of this had never happened I would still be close to these special friends, but their unconditional love and support for me reminds me how lucky I am. As I get older, I have come to realize that it is rare to come across more than one or two people like this in a life time. The kinds of friends who are there for you and more. People who reach out when no one else knows what to do. When I catch myself appreciating these extraordinary people, I can feel in my heart that one day I will be okay. I consider myself lucky to be able to think of a half dozen people right now in my day to day life that fall into this category. For that, I am truly thankful.

For now, for tonight, I will ride this wave of appreciation I feel for my friends. It can be as simple as a long meaningful chat on the phone, but it is friends like you that remind me that sometimes it's easier to be grateful than sad.